Layers Of Complexity In Life And Persuasion I Am An Onion
I love a good metaphor. An especially powerful metaphor for me lately has been that of an onion. The Cleveland Method deals with a deep understanding of our core drives and unconscious motivations. When we focus inward, only then can we genuinely understand others.
In recent months I've noticed a tremendous amount of growth in many of my students who have been applying persuasion techniques not just to business and sales, but to every facet of their lives.
One of my students, an adviser who is becoming more and more successful in his business and financial life, was telling me on a recent phone call how these skills have not only affected his "bottom line" but they have meant so much to him in other ways. As a result of one technique, he stopped smoking and some other incredibly positive things have taken place in his life. (This is what I live for. When my students have breakthroughs in all areas.)
I have experienced this in my own life as well. After shedding 140 pounds of unwanted fat, and still going strong, I've seen the figurative layers of the onion being peeled away in a tangible way. As we peel and change and get to the core of what is important in life, we find even more enhancements and improvements we can make.
Peeling away the layers of the onion, shows us what's underneath. I peeled away layers of unnecessary padding and found another problem that needs to be addressed. A hernia. And now I'm able to help myself even further.
Metaphors motivate us to understand the power of our unconscious drives and the ultimate motivating factors in life. While m focus in my programs has become more laser focused on how to persuade our affluent clients and prospects, I see that the bigger picture is fantastically important. We are our own first project in persuasion. When we learn to influence and persuade ourselves, that is the first brick in the foundation.
I can absolutely guaranty you that there's never been a great persuader on the face of the planet who doesn't have a degree of mastery over his own life. Before I lost the weight, I had a very conflicted relationship with the thinking, the practice, and the actual doing. Eventually, something clicked. I got it. I understood on another level that as an onion, the first step is to peel away the skin, and to keep peeling through visualization, through tapping, through intention, through coaching, through determination, through the universe system-it all came together as if I were a magician and finally figured out the magical recipe for my own self mastery.
This is all a process. I will be the first to say that this cannot be mastered. It would be arrogant to say that I have mastered persuasion or self-persuasion. It can't be done. The minute I feel I've attained the highest I can, what point is there in continuing? Continuing to grow and evolve is what keeps us vibrant. My hope is that while I continue to focus primarily on persuading the affluent, that the bigger picture of evolution, growth and persuasion is really what my students come away with.
Persuasion FAQs Related Articles
- Base Desires And Persuasion
- Factors Influencing The Impact Of Humor In Persuasion
- Foundational Principles Of Persuasion
- Increasing Persuasion With Humor
- Layers Of Complexity In Life And Persuasion I Am An Onion
- Persuasion Techniques
- Persuasion Through Isolation
- Storytelling - Pure Emotional Persuasion
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Persuasion Techniques
Some of the best persuasion techniques have been developed from NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) methods. For example, if you hear a person saying, "I see," a few times, they are probably processing information visually, according to NLP. To influence them then, you would use phrases like, "You can see how..." or you would actually show them things. A more auditory person would be influenced by, "I hear what you're saying," and "Listen."
Notice if they use visual, aural, or kinesthetic words. If you want to convince your spouse to go to the Bahamas, it makes a difference which words you use. "We'll be feeling that sun on our backs," is not the same as "We'll see sunny beaches," or We'll listen to the waves at night." You may use all of these, but one of the three types of words will be more influential for most people.
More Persuasion Techniques
1. Use a person's name. You have undoubtedly heard salesmen use and abuse this technique. Maybe a statement like "Look Steve, you can see the benefits of this..." just turns you off. Using a person's name IS a powerful persuasion technique, but there is more subtlety and art to persuasion than just following simple rules.
People do love to hear their own name, but you have to be careful how you use it. First of all, use it how they want to hear it. Ask how they prefer to be addressed. A Mike may not like "Michael," and a Joseph may be irritated by you calling him "Joe."
Second, use it at the right time. Unless you are great at reading people and know it is okay, don't say "Hi Betty!" the moment she walks into your office. Wait until there is a bit of rapport, and sometimes even ask permission ("Is it okay if I call you Betty?").
2. Use motivating words. Say "think about," they'll do that. It is not a call to action. Use words like "today," and "now," and "do this." Many subliminal experts will tell you that even using "by now," repetitively, as in "By now you can see that this car is luxurious," is subconsciously taken as "buy now."
Remember to use THEIR words. If they use the word "efficient" often, then it's an important word to them. Start using it: "You can see how efficient this RV is in it's use of space." Pay attention and pick out any words they use often. Persuasion is easier when you speak the same "language."
3. Be a chameleon. Change your language to more closely match theirs. Slow or accelerate your speech to match theirs. Sit in the same position that they sit in. Use the same facial expressions. Laugh when they laugh.
This technique is called "mirroring and matching," and, when done well, you can establish rapport quickly and easily with most people. Most people will never notice you're doing this, but don't be too obvious. The person will just feel like you're like they are, that you can "relate" to them. A bond will begin to develop between you, and you can test this bond by "leading."
This means that once you have established the bond, you can change your body posture, to see if they unconsciously do the same. If so, they are ready to follow. You continue to mirror and match, but you also start to lead them right to the bottom line on the contract, or to whatever action you want them to take. This is one of the more powerful persuasion techniques.
Persuasion FAQs Related Articles
- Base Desires And Persuasion
- Factors Influencing The Impact Of Humor In Persuasion
- Foundational Principles Of Persuasion
- Increasing Persuasion With Humor
- Layers Of Complexity In Life And Persuasion I Am An Onion
- Persuasion Techniques
- Persuasion Through Isolation
- Storytelling - Pure Emotional Persuasion
- Why The Laws Of Persuasion Work